5 Weeks Home

I don't always find the time to update the blog, but I know our family and friends are interested in how things are going, so I am trying to give semi-frequent updates. To be completely honest, things are going very well now. Valencia had a full week of school last week and she was a different kid -- I don't know if it's thanks to school or because she's been home for several weeks now (probably the combination of both), but she's really adjusting and her behavior is soooooo much better and she just (for the most part) acts like any other kid. It's hard to even explain what I mean by that because it's so many little things -- now when we come home she wants to go play with her toys and go play with Tallie, but it wasn't like that before. Or if I ask her to do something small or to not do something small, like "can you hang up your jacket", or "put on pants -- it's cold outside", etc, there's not a big to do reaction of protest with crying, pouting or major defiance. The meltdowns could happen over anything - the wrong color of spoon, so we just never knew what to expect.


She's catching on to how things work in our house and her new life, and what behavior is acceptable and what is not. And understanding that and having well defined rules seems to give her security and allow her to enjoy herself and just be a kid. We're not 100% there -- she still constantly asks what is and is not ok to do, funny things, is it ok to drink some of my water, do I need to eat this before I eat that on my plate, and she points out everything (and I mean everything) Tallie and Beckett do - to make sure they're doing what is right. So from my 5 weeks with her I really think she is a good kid and wants to do what is right, but she doesn't always know what that is, even when it seems obvious to us, and she has 2 1/2 years of orphanage life and the way the kids there behaved that influences her behavior. But she's getting there and it's amazing how different she is now from when she first came home -- and it's only been 5 weeks! It's also amazing how much English she knows. She is able to say the basics and get by -- the other day she was trying to tell me something and I could see her frustration. She was using the words she knew but they weren't exactly what she needed and she knew it but she was trying to make due and I was just not understanding what she was trying to say. Moments like that are hard because you see what a big change this is for her and how frustrating it can be. But kids are AMAZING and resilient.

Everyone always asks me how Tallie is handling the change to our family. She too is amazing. She has been blessed with the sweetest personality and naturally loves everyone. I hope it is something that will always stay with her. She adores Valencia. They definitely have their moments as all siblings do, but overall she loves it. We colored valentines back in February and after her third one for Valencia I suggested she make some for other people too. I was writing thank you notes the other day and Tallie wanted to write one too. She said Valencia did something nice for her that day so she was going to make one for her. I took Tallie and Beckett to the gym to play one day while Valencia was at school and Tallie made friends with a little girl there and in their conversation the girl said she was 5 and Tallie immediately responded "my sister is 5." And the funniest of all was one night when I went to check on the girls after they were asleep. I was fixing Tallie's covers and she rolled over and said "Valencia" in her sleep. I think she's very proud to have a sister.


The girls decided to have a pajama party with their toys -- it's 2 in the afternoon.

A game they invented is "church" -- they get out scriptures and say prayers and line up their toys for a lesson. Pretty funny to watch. Notice the tap shoes - gotta love that.


Last night after dinner Jared made the girls go outside and run laps -- they had WAY too much energy and were driving us crazy so he thought this would help.



I have to include a picture of my cute little guy:

Life through the eyes of a child

Kids are so funny -- the way they think and the things they say just have to make you smile. 6 months ago Tallie had no idea what a "happy meal" was, which made me feel proud as a mom. But there came a moment of weakness and I needed the convenience of fast food. That moment came again last week -- too many places to be and no bread in the house to pack sandwiches for the road. We stopped and got happy meals and I passed them back to the girls. Valencia had no idea what was going on and why I was handing her a bag. I didn't realize that she didn't understand her lunch was inside. About 10 minutes later while I'm driving she says (very excitedly in Creole) "mom - there's food in here!" "Can I eat it??"

Since Valencia's been home Tallie's really been noticing people that have black skin. Every time we're in public and she sees someone she'll point it out. The other day we were walking into the grocery store and passed 5 black men on their way out, and Tallie said (out loud but to herself) "wow, there's a lot of people from Haiti here."


It's amazing how many things are new to Valencia, and the longer she's home the less I think about it until we're in the moment. We took the kids for a walk the other day - the 2 girls in a double stroller and Beckett in a single, and she thought that was a riot. She was laughing and screaming the whole time. First time in a stroller. And the week Beckett was sick we all needed to get out of the house so I decided to go for a drive. To make the girls enjoy it I bought them an icecream cone. She giggled the whole time eating it.


My sisters sent us a welcome home package with a sugar cookie mix and everything to decorate them. We had a snow day and decided it was the perfect day to break open the cookie mix. The girls loved doing it - thanks Mindy and Lisa and family -- it was a great activity.

Beckett loved it too. Check out the frosting and sprinkles go-tee


Tomorrow is a big day for me as a mom -- my first child is going to school. Valencia's starting preschool to help with her English. After a few weeks we'll decide what to do. We had planned to start her in Kindergarten next year and just have her be old for her grade, but we're kind of questioning her age. She's HUGE for a 5 year old and she's loosing her teeth, so she could be older, who knows, but either way she'll be a giant kindergartener. So the plan now is to get her ready for first grade, which is what she should have done anyway. I'm feeling a little nervous tonight thinking about dropping her off at school tomorrow.

It's amazing that at 12 months Beckett knows how to rile up his sisters. Here's a clip of a typical dinner time at our house. Beckett likes to pretend to throw his food overboard and his sisters like to keep him in line, but I think he's the one in control of the situation.

Week 2

I don't have as many exciting things to report for our second week. Tallie and Beckett were both sick this week -- especially Beckett with a double ear infection, he has been completely miserable, so we stayed home most of the week. That proved to be pretty boring for the girls, and especially for Valencia who was feeling just fine. It was a hard week with the sick kids, but Valencia's doing a lot better and seems to be adjusting to her new life. We may be over the tantrums -- we've gone 2 whole days without a single one. I kid you not, it used to be 1 per hour, the littlest things would set her off, and they lasted quite awhile with kicking and screaming. But she's been learning that good behavior gets her what she wants and we try to exaggerate praise when she does the littlest things right, and that seems to be working. The tantrums became less frequent and less intense, and going 2 days without one is HUGE. I'm feeling okay about going into public now :)

She's also becoming more affectionate towards us, and she loves using the English words that she knows. I need to record her saying "a little bit" because it's the cutest thing ever. She says that every time she wants more food. And as she becomes more comfortable we're seeing more of her personality which is fun. She's a bit of a goof-ball, and she LOVES music -- she's always singing and dancing. She roams around the house singing "I like to move it move it" (from Madagascar). And she's all-girl, just like Tallie. The two of them LOVE pink, skirts, dresses, pretty headbands, makeup, etc.

Here's having fun with dad -- riding him like a horse was a huge hit:



I took Valencia to a salon today to get her hair done. What a trooper -- she had to hold still for 2 hours while they tugged and pulled on her hair. She looks so adorable! She LOVES the beads and can't leave them alone, and tonight as she brushed her teeth she just giggled in the mirror and said she looks "belle".

The First Week

We made it through our first week home. Everyone's doing great -- better than I expected. Tallie and Valencia get along and have fun together, but are extremely competitive - I need 2 of everything and I'm about to throw away the pink kid dishes because if there's not enough for them both there's trouble in the house :) Valencia is really handling all the changes well - she's very curious about everything and wants to be involved in whatever I'm doing. It's fun to see how new and

Saturday night dinner -- she didn't want to take off her gloves.

Saturday night movie night - the popcorn was a huge hit.

New Sunday dresses -- the one thing I didn't have for Valencia was a dress for church and being an inexperienced adoptive mom (or just a mom with 4 and 5 year old girls) I thought she could just borrow one of Tallie's for the first Sunday, but I quickly learned that the girls need to have their OWN things, so after putting the girls to bed Saturday night I went out frantically shopping for a Sunday dress.

Tuesday -- we took the kids swimming. She had a great time and was very brave in the water and even tried swimming by herself with floaties. Her teeth were chattering the whole time - poor thing, but when I'd ask her if she was cold she said no and when it was time to leave she didn't want to. She's been asking to go swimming since then.

Tuesday night -- Here's a first for mom -- doing Valencia's hair. She came home with corn rows but one of them started falling out so I decided to take them out and attempt to do her hair (!!). It took me 2 hours just to take out the braids. By then it was WAY past bedtime so the next day I washed her hair and tried braiding it. I spent almost 2 hours and did less than half of her head and we were both ready to be done, so since Wednesday she's had a head of half braided hair -- I think I need to find a good salon to take her to!

Wednesday was sunny and warm so I took the kids (by myself!) to see some horses. That ended up not being a good idea. Valencia was TERRIFIED of the horses so we quickly left and went to the beach instead. That was a hit -- she loved running along the waves.

Thursday the girls went to a cooking class. A teacher reads them a story and then they cook a food from the story. I was a little nervous to go by myself with the kids because we're still working through behavior and tantrums, but it was great and everyone had a fun time. She really enjoys getting out of the house and doing things. And it seems to wear her out by the end of the day -- we've been putting the girls to bed at 7pm and she goes right to sleep - I don't think she even moves until morning.


Friday - My two ballerinas. Dance class was a hit. They do ballet and tap -- Valencia was so excited about it and wore her tap shoes all day, and of course Tallie had to as well. A little noisy around the house but we're getting used to it.



Today was Beckett's first birthday, and with everything going on I almost forgot. The last two weeks have been a whirlwind, but luckily I bought his presents a few weeks ago so all I had to do was wrap presents and bake a cake.

We're Home

It was a VERY LONG day for all the kids -- we didn't get to bed until around 11pm last night and were up by 7am to catch our plane home. The first plane ride was exciting and the girls played, colored, giggled, and pretended to throw up in the barf bags (not sure the people around us liked that!). The second plane wasn't as fun -- by then EVERYONE was ready to be home and there were a few tears, but all the kids ended up falling asleep which helped.

Once we made it home we had a great night. Valencia found everything so exciting in the house and Tallie had a great time showing Valencia everything. They played, then we had dinner thanks to one of our friends, the kids all took a bath which Valencia LOVED. She's never been in a bath tub before -- and especially with warm water. Valencia's not so sure about our little dog - she freaks out every time Nala walks by and stomps her feet and yells at her (I'd love to know what she's saying). We got pjs on, read a book and put the girls to bed. Valencia thought it was so funny when we gave her a kiss goodnight. They giggled for awhile but it's quiet now so I think they're all asleep.

Ok, here are the pictures you're waiting for.
Family of four -- waiting to be a family of five

We were in a private area of the airport waiting for the plane with our kids.


Family of five!

Home on Friday

Hi Everyone

We take off in the morning for Florida. The children from the orphanage are supposed to arrive in Florida sometime on Thursday. Things are a bit crazy right now and flights from Haiti cannot be confirmed, but the plan is to return home with Valencia this Friday in Boston at 3:22pm on USAirways. We would love to have a welcome home airport scene for Valencia with signs and balloons. We're inviting any of you who are in the area and able to come to the airport this Friday. I will let you know if the day or time changes.

Teresa

Thursday??

I woke up to an email this morning saying we should be in Ft. Lauderdale, FL this Thursday morning (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) They have secured 3 planes to get the children out. They'll update us when they know more.